Opinber umfjöllun um Asperger

Fjölmiðlar hafa byrjað að ræða um einhverfurófið, og finnst mér mikil þörf á að taka upp þá umræðu opinberlega. Fyrst var rætt við Mamiko Dís Ragnarsdóttur, sem rekur bloggið sjalfhverfa.wordpress.com, í fréttatíma Stöðvar 2. Síðan ræddi mbl.is sjónvarp við mig. Í gær fjallaði Stöð 2 aftur um málið en í þetta sinn var rætt við Laufeyju Gunnarsdóttur.

Orsök Aperger heilkennisins eru ekki fullkomlega ljós en einkenni þess er að heilinn þróast öðruvísi en hjá öðrum, sem áfram leiðir til einkenna sem fólk upplifir í gegnum ævina. Rannsóknir benda þó til þess að Asperger heilkennið erfist þó ekki sé vitað um hvaða gen sé að ræða. Einu greiningartólin sem eru í boði þessa stundina byggjast á því að greina atferli og hegðun viðkomandi. Í fyrstu umfjölluninni var nefnt að um 1% fólks sé á einhverfurófi en í Bretlandi er hlutfallið 63 á hver 10 þúsund, sem sagt 0,63%. Séu bresku tölurnar færðar yfir á mannfjöldann á Íslandi er hægt að áætla að um 2 þúsund manns séu á einhverfurófi hér á landi (m.v. mannfjöldatölu Hagstofu fyrir 1. janúar 2011).

Greining á Asperger þarf ekki að þýða endalok lífs manneskju, heldur veitir hún upplýsingar sem manneskjan vissi væntanlega ekki áður. Það er ekki eins og líkaminn breytist um leið og greiningin staðfestir heilkennið. Greiningin er tækifæri til þess að skoða líf manns og skilja betur af hverju það leiddi til manneskjunnar sem maður er núna. Hvað maður gerir í framhaldinu er undir manni sjálfum komið. Hvers vegna ekki að reyna að njóta þess sem eftir er lífsins?

The great spouse hunt

Author’s note:
This is an English translation of the article „Makaleitin mikla„. It is translated by request because the Google translate version of it is horrible. It can provide an insight to my preferences for future spouses from an Aspie point of view.

I am 28 years old now and have yet to enter a relationship but then people start to suspect I set my standards too high when it comes to the attributes of my spouse. Some also suspect that I’m gay but I don’t think I am. However, I think there’s a different reason: My isolation as a child which impaired my abilities to communicate socially to this day. The few who I’ve been in contact with regularly (and are not my relatives) are usually of the male gender which causes inexperience when talking to females. Even if I see a female I’m attracted to does not automatically mean that I have the courage or ability to „get her“. It also doesn’t help that sometimes I have difficulties determining where people are located in the friend pyramid.

My mother is even trying to plug me to a relationship by mentioning at regular intervals that I’m single, but not so often it’s annoyingly irritating. My siblings have also tried to introduce me to women but without success. The main reason things haven’t worked out when people play the relationship manager role is because they don’t know what I’m looking for. To give people a better understanding of what I’m seeking, I decided to make a list over the qualities I’m looking for in potential spouses (not ordered by priority).

Looks:
Look like a female.
Not look like a monster.
Preferably on my age range or younger. But I’m open to older females.
Regular body caring (cleans herself, and so on).
Fine and soft skin.
Not very far from ideal weight. Can differ by 10-15 kg (22-33 lbs).
Would be ideal if she had some breasts. But not a requirement.

Personality / behaviour:
Smart (at least not stupid).
Logical.
Fairly black humour. Few or no topics so holy that they cannot be joked about.
Preferably doesn’t hold any dogmas.
Not prejudiced.
Understanding / Not too quick to judge.
Happy with life. That is, not a robot.
Not a snob.
Decisive.
Dependable.
Open. Can talk about things regarding herself, like feelings.
Doesn’t just think about herself.
Has sexual needs.
Can take criticism.
Good self-esteem. Secure with herself and won’t be jealous over nothing.
Strong sense of justice. Tries to be honest in what she does.
Courage to express her own opinions.
Not pushy.
Not clingy.
Not submissive. That is, independant thinker and do-er.
Not very codependant.

And of course I’m ready to lower my demands for any of those qualities if she is overall good. Also, everything is good in moderation because, for example, it’s not good to be a cleaning freak or Ms. Everything-is-positive.